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Sunny is a contributing writer at The Hudsucker. Born and raised in Atlanta, she graduated with a degree in Journalism, concentrating in Public Relations, from Georgia State University in 2009. Sunny now lives in Midtown and works as a Digital Media Specialist in the Greater Atlanta Area. Being a passionate lover of good food, art of all kinds, friendly people and home-brewed Southern sweet tea, Sunny couldn't imagine a better place to call home. Follow Sunny on Twitter @SociallySunny.

The Quarter-Life Crisis: Love at 25

Once, not too long ago, I started a blog of my own about what it meant to be 25. You see, when I was 16 years old, 25 was ancient. I remember standing alongside my Indian mother, judging those girls that were still single.

How had they still not managed to find everlasting love? Obviously, they’re defective,” might have been, – okay, was my thought process. Surely I’d never end up being one of those girls.

Alas, as the old saying goes: “If you want God to laugh, tell him your plans.”

The older I got, the more complex of a beast love became. At 16, holding hands in the lunch line was a definite foreshadowing of a happily ever after. At 19, if he bought dinner (at Chili’s, mind you) and helped you carry groceries to your first dorm room while all your girlfriends watched with envy, you could see a future. At 22, that 16-year-old mentality came back around and you wondered with all these boys always fawning over women, how could anyone ever end up single?

But then 25 happened.

In just three short years, photos from girl’s night out from the weekend before and of relatively remarkable keg stand competitions were replaced with engagement photos and “Can’t wait to marry my best friend” statuses. Life events such as “Joe Smith bought a house – with Jane “I’ve Only Been Dating Him For 4 Months” Wilson” begin appearing. And the babies…dear God the babies.  It’s raining men? Wrong. It’s raining babies. Pregnancy photos, birth photos, first laugh/bottle/crawl videos. Your Facebook feed and your life, to some extent, manifested into a Babies R’ Us commercial.

Image via someecards

Image via someecards

And all of these changes inevitably change a person. Change sneaks into your room in the middle of the night, unannounced and without invitation, and you wake up a brand new you. A 25-year-old you.

All of a sudden instead of chatting about the latest Grey’s Anatomy episode, you and your friends discuss the birth control prescriptions and gluten-free baking recipes. Instead of going to the club, you go to the book club. And when you do happen to reluctantly go to a dance club, you can’t help but notice that the music hurts your ears, your shoes are uncomfortable, and you won’t be able to pay rent if you buy another $8 cocktail.

And love has changed a little bit, too. Okay, a lot. Instead of being attracted to the guy with the killer six pack, you appreciate someone that can hold a conversation and make you laugh all at the same time. The “I wonder if he thinks I’m sexy in this short skirt” is now “I wonder after how many dates I can start wearing yoga pants around him until he realizes I don’t actually do yoga.” Things like the way he treats his mother, is he able to cook, and if he’d bring you a heating pad while you’re on your cycle are what attract you to him more so than cheesy, almost gross, pick up lines that you would once find exciting.

At 25, you see less and less men fawning over women “your age,” which can be something that slightly disheartens you after that third glass of wine on some days, but a relief on most others.

You vote at 18, drink at 21, but in my humble opinion, I don’t think adulthood really comes for you until 25 – until the track your life has been on finally gives way, and there you are standing, wavering, feeling the true weight of free will. It’s like life has taken you to the middle of a dark forest, handed you a flashlight and patted you on the back before walking away, leaving you on your own.

Change is the only constant in life. It’s what makes this milestone both exhilarating and completely frightening at the same time. Where you go from here is entirely up to you, in life and in love. If nothing else, take solace in knowing you aren’t the only one.

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2 Comments on “The Quarter-Life Crisis: Love at 25”

  1. MYNDFUQ August 17, 2013 at 2:22 pm #

    Sunny! Great piece here. Likewise, I’m right with you in the quarter category. You’ve hit everything on the dot about how I feel about my peers today, but just from an opposite sexs’ perspective.

    Love your take on life putting you in the forest and patting you on the back. It’s scary yet exhilarating all the while. I hope the best on your journey.You’ve got a way with words and I’m sure you’ll do well wherever it is you go!

    • Sunny Waseem August 19, 2013 at 3:20 pm #

      Thank you so much for your kind words! I’m looking forward to getting a break from all this once I’m 30!

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