There’s no denying that while we might be surrounded by amazing relationships in our waking life, we have spent every moment from birth to now in our very own company. And the truth is, no matter who pops in and out of our life, we will always be the one soul consistently there for us.
It might sound like a lonely thing to say, but we never escape our own presence and in that understanding, we have the ability to be our own best friend, without fear and without judgement. After all, if we allow ourselves to be our own best friends, chances are we will never really be alone.
So often we disappear into those we love or the life we make, that we end up neglecting not just our family or friends, but ourselves. Whether you’re 34 or 64, how many friends you have and at what stage in life you’re at, it’s essential to recognize that you are capable of everything you imagine for the others you love in your own life.
In order to feel at peace and realize we are worthy of self-love, we need to build a solid friendship with our very being at the core. It might take some work and patience but with a careful mindfulness, you can surely get there.
Show yourself kindness
One of the most important things you can do is to be more compassionate towards yourself. How is it that we can be so sensitive and nice to everyone else but ourselves? Becoming self-compassionate is not just the act of being kinder to yourself — it’s about accepting, loving and knowing yourself without embellishments. Identify the negatives in your life and turn them into positive nuggets that will help you to understand yourself better. Through this process, you not only create affirmations through self-talk that aid in your emotional and mental well-being, but you banish negative judgment and reiterate that you are worthy of love and attention.
Moreover, when you’re kinder to yourself and look towards the positives of your character and traits, you judge yourself less. People who truly love themselves, never judge themselves — think about the dynamics you have between a friend. Would you ever judge them or do you love them no matter what?
We certainly aren’t perfect — nobody is. But along the way and however life goes, we make mistakes that we hopefully bounce back from with valuable insight. That said, it’s innately known that some of us never learn. Regardless of what happens, it’s in your best interest for a healthier conscience to always forgive yourself. Cleanse yourself of any toxicity and resentment you might harbor for past mistakes and forgive yourself. We all do dumb things, but if you can realize where you went wrong and can move forward, you’ve done a service for yourself.
When we hold onto pain or anger generated by lapses in judgement, we lower our own value and diminish the quality of our life and choices. Whatever happens though, know that you deserve better and like you would provide your best friends with a pep talk, give yourself one too. It will help yourself to realize it’s okay to let go and move on from things that tied you down. When it comes to the value of becoming your own best friend, let go of pride and imagine how you’d support a friend who really matters to you in a similar situation. Not only would you never hate them, but you would know why they did what they did.
Put yourself first
It’s okay to be a little selfish when it comes to your emotional and mental well-being. Following in the footsteps of how you would help a friend, take your own advice and put yourself first. Whether it’s time away from work or a night alone, take some time to catch up with yourself and practice a little self-care. It’s important to always be there for yourself. It might sound silly, but the same way you treat your friends — treat yourself that way too.
We all send birthday cards to our best friends, even little care packages, so why aren’t you entitled to them too? The best part is you actually know what you want so go out and reward yourself however you see fit. The love and affection you show your friends through the gifts or attention isn’t just reserved for them.
Don’t force things to happen
Keep in mind that whatever is meant to be, will be. We’ve all had inner struggles with ourselves and sometimes they seep not just into our relationships, but our psyche. Not only does this harm our emotional and mental well-being by causing pain, but it can have an adverse effect on your overall health. Life is all about unpredictability, but it’s essential to know that you cannot change things to be a certain way. The more you try to push something to be how you want, the further it will get away from you. Let everything you want take its own course. This is not to say that dreams and wishes don’t come true, but there’s also a bit of fate tied into everything we do.
Trust yourself like you would your friends, family or even a significant other and come to terms with knowing that things will work out the way they need to. Faith can be hard to have, but it’s essential and only you can acknowledge it. If you want to be your own best friend, accept things for what they are and don’t treat life and its circumstances as your enemy. Instead, step back from those fears of the unknown and learn to work through insecurities or doubt to open up your life for greater possibilities.