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Alexander has been contributing for THS for over a year! While he attained a major in communications at SFU, he also recieved a minor in Psychology. Despite those accomplishments, Alex has also never had a full cup of coffee (crazy right?!). Alex is a lifelong sports fan and will defend his Seattle Seahawks to the death, especially if faced against a 49er fan. While Alex's long-term goal is to become a marriage counsellor, he also has a strong passion towards writing that he looks forward to exploring.

Top 5 for 5: Alex Reveals His Best Relationship Advice

Alex Keobke has been a Contributor to The Hudsucker since 2014, and his thoughtful advice on life and relationships has been a staple of his writing. For his Top 5 for 5, he chooses to share the relationship advice that he finds most important. 

One of the most influential areas of your life is the partner that you end up dating. You can have the greatest job in the world, but if you are in a relationship that does not make you feel loved and supported you may find yourself struggling to find happiness.

Throughout my time writing for The Hudsucker I have been fortunate enough to compile numerous articles on different areas of relationship advice. So with our site officially turning five, it might perhaps never be a more appropriate time than now to compile five invaluable pieces of relationship advice.

Whether it’s advice on how to keep your spark alive, tips that will perhaps save you decades of wasted time or how to identify you and your partners love language, you owe it to yourself and your current – or future – partner to be aware of these five areas.

Remember the importance of physical touch

The start of any relationship can be incredibly exciting and you may find yourself being unable to keep your hands off of your new beau. However, as the relationship progresses, you need to remain aware of the importance of a maintained physical connection. It can be easy to get into a ‘rut’ and stop putting the effort in the bedroom and when that happens, you may find yourself more like roommates and less like lovers. And once that spark is out, you may find it increasingly hard to re-ignite it – especially if resentment has built up.

That is also not to say that there is a “perfect” number of intimate sessions per week, as that will vary from relationship to relationship and over time, but making sure you and your partner are both feeling satisfied is a critical component of having a healthy relationship that can stand the test of time.

Know when it’s over

{Image Credit: iStock}

One of the most difficult decisions that you may find yourself making in your life is deciding that your relationship is no longer sustainable.

But by staying in an unhealthy relationship you are running a significant risk to your own mental health. It can be hard to walk away from something you may have put years of your life into, but you owe it to yourself to be always asking if you’re in a healthy and happy relationship and if the answer is no, knowing the next steps to take.

This may be even more paramount if you have children together. If parents are role models for their children to follow, you owe it to those children to set the example of what love and respect look like in a relationship and the importance of leaving when it is not there. If not you run the risk of your children growing up with an incredibly unhealthy view of what is and isn’t acceptable in a relationship.

Make sure your long-term life goals are compatible

When you start looking towards your future there may be several things that you know you do or do not want. Perhaps you want a huge family? That’s fantastic, but if you are in a relationship with someone that you know doesn’t want kids, then you need to realize that sooner or later one of you is going to be disappointed with how your life came together.

Something like becoming a parent should never be something that one “settles for” just to make their partner happy.

There is nothing wrong with being child-free, but there are issues with not honestly communicating your life goals with your partner. Otherwise, you may spend a solid portion of your dating life on a relationship that is going to leave you potentially unsatisfied.

Remember the importance of me-time and an external support system

When it comes to engaging in a healthy relationship it is pivotal that you keep an active connection with who you are as an individual. After all, you must be a pretty awesome person for someone as amazing as your partner to fall in love with! By making sure you keep a regular habit of “me-time” you are also ensuring that your relationship doesn’t run the risk of becoming your entire life.

Keeping a healthy relationship with friends and family is also influential in making sure you still have a strong support system and that you are continuing to grow as a person. This will also become invaluable if your relationship ends and you need to re-engage with being single.

Learn you and your partner’s love language

{Image Credit: iStock}

In 1995, Dr. Gary Chapman released the book entitled “The Five Love Languages.” In it, he explains that there are 5 primary ways you and your partner may show support or affection.

The five areas are, words of affirmation (verbal praise), quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service (going out of your way to help) and physical touch. Chapman theorizes that one of the biggest tricks to staying in a healthy relationship is the proper identification of your partner’s love language.

If you can learn how they best prefer to receive love, then you can make sure your efforts aren’t going to waste. Buying her a new wardrobe might be great if she identifies the strongest with receiving gifts, but if she doesn’t and you don’t get the praise that you were expecting than resentment can build.

By doing some self-reflection and learning how you also best feel love, your partner can get the information she needs to keep you feeling supported on your toughest days.

What is one piece of relationship advice you’ve learned over the years? Let us know in the comments.

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