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Tania is currently the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of The Hudsucker and an Associate Editor at Womanista. With past writing credits as a freelance writer and journalist with Quietly, the International Women's Media Foundation (IWMF), and NBC News' Newsvine, she is currently a member of Indianapolis based, Society of Professional Journalists—one of the oldest organizations in the US that promotes and represents journalists. As a writer by vocation and entrepreneur by nature, Tania is a life long learner who enjoys traveling and meeting new people. She is an avid Indianapolis Colts, Elvis Presley, and baseball fan as well as a lover of pancakes and fine cheeses, film, and music. Tania is a Hoosier at heart with a passionate wanderlust for always traveling and road-tripping across the great United States. She is currently attending Ball State University in Muncie, Indiana and studying journalism. Follow Tania on Twitter: @westlifebunny.

Soulmates: Fact or Fiction?

It’s an age old question that we all wonder. Is there someone out there made for each one of us? I use to wonder about the concept of soulmates and thought it didn’t exist. It just couldn’t. I’ve always believed it was just a thing created by Hallmark and many chocolate manufacturers who knew what heart strings to tug and how much sugar would induce you into a hyperactive coma so much so that you wouldn’t dwell on being alienated in a culture that focuses heavily on coupling, whether it is through film, music, and print.

Image Credit: Getty Images

Image Credit: Getty Images

So, soulmates…what are they? When Aristotle was asked what a friend is, he answered that it was a single soul dwelling into two bodies. Many variants over the years have transformed that definition to the subject of love, claiming true love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies because friendship is the basis of genuine love. However, when queried in the same text as to what love is, Aristotle himself replied, “What is life without love? Love is like the sun. Without light, there’s no life.”

Plato’s Symposium presents a story where humans originally consisted of four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces, but apparently Zeus feared their powers and split them all in half, condemning them to spend the rest of their lives searching for the other half to complete them. With both of them together and a bond so strong they would be undefeated. It almost sounds mythical and makes you wonder whether there could be such a concept?

In modern times soulmates have been defined as twin souls which are thought to be the other half of another’s soul. It’s said that a person with whom you have a feeling of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality and compatibility is the real one for you. Do we ever find them though? I would imagine not always but it seems like polygamists have worked that equation out in some form for a few of us, so huzzah for them, but do we really need someone to complete us?

I’ve had two psychic readings in my whole life: once when I called into a radio station and another when I went out with friends. The two psychics who were very different gave me information which of course was vague but made sense to my life currently. The one I had met in person revealed in a creepy manner that I had already met my soulmate even though the lines were kind of blurry between our interaction and she didn’t understand why. Looking back, I realize why she felt that way. When I asked her what exactly is a soulmate, truly and honestly, she looked at me sort of puzzled. She must have assumed I knew, since I had already “met” my soulmate but went on to say that a soulmate is not only someone who understands you on an emotional level but a mental one as well. At one point she grabbed my hand and said it was an interesting tale I had, because we found each other perfectly through the synchrocities of life and formed a friendship that would evolve through great trials and tribulations. She called it “fate” and said there was a hidden meaning behind every event we experienced together. I asked her if I really truly needed my soulmate and her answer is always one I will keep to myself just because no one would believe it. When I think back I sometimes feel she was right but then there are dark days when I believe she was wrong.

In terms of synchronicities and fate, I do find that Deepak Chopra said it best in his book, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success:

“Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment, are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment. There is a hidden meaning behind all events, and this hidden meaning is serving your own evolution.”

In terms of meeting people throughout our life and wondering what they’re doing at this moment in our realm, I have discovered different kinds of soulmates that we all come across. I believe they play a big part in our personal evolutions: Karmic SoulmatesCompanion Soulmatesand Twin Flames.

Karmic Soulmates: They’re the ones you encounter in this life for a certain reason. Karmic connections between these soulmates have a strong magnetism, usually in the beginning of their relationship. The strong pull in each soul is like a yearning, a mating dance of sorts in order to fulfill the agreements made in the blue print of their respective lives. They can be romantic in nature but if so, they don’t last very long. That is because these types of relationships are for learning lessons and growth rather than obtaining a life partner. It is often noted that the people whom we feel most frustrated with are considered our Karmic Soulmates and this is because though we have an inner need for them, we’re not responding the way we think we might. In that sense it becomes an ongoing issue despite the compatibility. What needs to be understood is that they are doing exactly what they are supposed to be doing in order for us to learn lessons. Often this type of connection accounts for why some times one person will feel much stronger for the other while the feeling isn’t mutual. The challenge unfortunately falls into unrequited love for the one with the stronger feelings who gains the greater lesson to learn. Once we know the purpose for meeting Karmic Soulmates, it makes it easier to understand the intense feelings we have for them. These souls may show up in our lives to play the roles of a lover, friend or co-worker but are known by how strongly we feel towards them.

Companion Soulmates: They make an agreement to help us in our lifetime learn lessons and come in the form of our lover, wife or husband, family members, co-workers or acquaintances for short periods of time that help us along our path. Companion Soulmates are work-oriented within their relationship, are well-mated and compatible. However, their union not necessarily signifies a permanent relationship. In many cases they are just teachers in our lives; helpers who have projects to complete. There may be no further need for a relationship or even togetherness once this has come to an end. They are those that have experienced similar lives to us and though they may be our mirror in some form they aren’t in every form. Companion Soulmates don’t have to be your marriage partners either. Just because one is married, doesn’t mean the married couple is compatible in every stage of their life or are each other’s half. It is often times a more in-depth relationship as there is a capacity to help one another on an emotional, mental and physical level.  In some way they are serendipitous unions; “happy accidents” or what some call in relationships, “rebounding” from lost loves.

Twin Flames:  Sound hot, don’t they? Well, they are because they are the highest form of any soulmate connection. It’s pretty obvious what it means: twin souls are our pure other half. They are the exact mirror of our body, mind and spirit and finding our twin soul is like finding ourselves. There is an immediate knowing and comfort with this soul as they both have similar intuitions, instincts and dreams. When Twin Flames meet it’s like a fire! Sparks fly immediately and though we go through our life searching and searching, we don’t realize that what we are looking for is someone just like us to complete us and add to our evolving purpose. Sometimes we find them in this life through dark moments, hold onto them and find light but other times tragically never. They can be hard to recognize, but at the end of it our twin flame is a part of who we are, and become a great extension of us. With these types of souls, no matter where you go or what you do, these two will always find their way back to one another. Their sole purpose is to work through lessons together and ultimately return to the light they created together as one. Both Twin Flames realize they have a higher purpose than themselves though and part of the tragedy is keeping away from each other for that realization that is bigger than themselves.

Image Credit: Max Wanger/Corbis

So, do soulmates exist? Personally, I wouldn’t know per se because I can’t see mine right now but I believe they are always around us in some form. They have to be. If we can dream them up they’d have to exist but would work in accordance to a time sheet.  It has to be a fact because I have seen such affinity and love between my friends who are in love. Watching them is inspiring, but the concept, do we need it? Why can’t people just roam about and be in love without this whole idea of “soulmates” lingering? Have you even seen our population? There are over seven billion people on this planet. Those numbers are staggering and you need to find “the one”? Yikes!

If there’s one thing I believe in, it’s that there aren’t any coincidences. Our lives are pre-ordained and destined even if you find it to be hard to swallow but it plays a part in everything we do although Shakespeare would say, “…fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, But in ourselves...” My aunt, a clinical psychiatrist once told me that opposites attract but that true soul mates are the ones that think alike, share the same interests and have common values. So how do you find one another in a world of seven billion?

It’s difficult. To be honest, I don’t have advice for you here. There’s no real way to know where they are, who they are, and what they look like. I would assume we keep going in our life working the way it is and letting the tides of fate roll in. In the meantime if you are someone who feels someone out there needs to complete you, look for someone who seems like the best fit for you and be receptive and open to new people. Don’t give up hope about finding your perfect dream girl or guy. I know plenty of women who dread about being alone because they’re single. There’s nothing wrong with being single! Being single can be the best time of your life especially if you’re first happy with who you are. That is a vital criteria. You need to love yourself first and your own soul in order to let someone else in. For your own personal contentment too, it’s important to accept that you don’t need to find your “one true love” or “the soul mate” to be happy and fulfilled. Happiness is a constant journey and that’s what little things in life are for, like hanging with family or friends, watching babies make their poo faces, or those countless YouTube videos of cats dancing like synchronized swimmers.

The beauty of our lives is that everyone who comes into it will become some sort of extension and we may find several people throughout our life that make us feel complete, happy and fulfilled. Perhaps one day you realize that you have actually found your very own soulmate or the “sole” mate. Voila!

The whole purpose to be on this Earth isn’t just to work, play and be happy. There has to be more out there and whether it be through finding someone to complete you, your soul needs to evolve on this planet and understand why it’s here, and what it all means. However, in order to do this you must experience “love” and let go of any fears you have. Always take a risk in finding whatever you want and who you want, because when you risk disillusion, rejection or disappointment, you really will triumph in the end and find your way. You should never regret the relationships you’ve created or lost nor hesitate from wanting something you want most.

After all, real love stories never have endings!

 

Connect with Tania Hussain on Twitter and Google+!
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Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Soulmates: Fact or Fiction? | westlifebunny - March 30, 2013

    […] Continue reading… […]

  2. Going The Distance: The Importance of Marrying Your Best Friend | The Hudsucker - February 15, 2016

    […] searching high and low for their soul mate, but the truth of the matter is, marrying your best friend should be the new marital ideal. Why? […]

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