Being in love is one of the best feelings in the world, transcending eras, love songs, and a slew of Pinterest boards. But being in love with your best friend is everything love is truly about! As Friedrich Nietzsche said it best all those years ago, “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” Sure, the quote gets recycled on Instagram over and over, but it’s true.
Everyone’s searching high and low for their soul mate, but the truth of the matter is, marrying your best friend should be the new marital ideal. Why? Well, because it works and creates long-term satisfaction for your emotional and mental well-being—score one for the clichés!
A recent study from the National Bureau of Economic Research investigated the causative link between marriage and happiness. While not everyone is lucky to marry their best friend, research concludes that life satisfaction gained from marriage was about double when a person considers their partner to be their best friend. And satisfaction reportedly lasted for decades, not fading away after that “honeymoon” period.
With the stresses and weight of our daily lives, marital ideals are shifting to integrate all values in hopes of having a full package. And let’s be honest—marrying your best friend, someone who has been your rock, your support system and everything in between, is way easier and practical than holding out for some cosmic reality of a soul mate. And honestly, loving someone just isn’t enough anymore. If your partner can’t be your best friend, someone who you can share deep secrets with, your relationship is going to suffer in certain parts.
While romance and physical attraction are elements essential to a lasting relationship, and marrying your best friend might reap high risks and rewards, the best are built on the solid, unfaltering foundations of friendship. Through a longing to simply create a concrete relationship, we share why it’s so important to marry your best friend.
If you really love your partner and treat them like your best friend, you would never disrespect them. And by disrespect, we mean criticize, compare and of course, the big one—cheat. If someone you love cheats on you, chances are they don’t love you. In fact, when they’re cheating on you, they are not even thinking about you at all. (Stop being in denial, people!) Instead, they’re thinking of themselves and hoping to find someone else to fill that void. Of course it’s selfish, but the world isn’t fair. When you marry your best friend, you develop a solid foundation of trust and build a safe zone between the two of you to talk about everything (that includes your sexual appetite) and anything so voids are never wedged between you. Respect is so vital to a relationship and takes time to form, so nurture it and learn to see one another’s values through your actions.
Say stupid things, embarrass yourself, and share whatever random thoughts, but nothing changes because that love is unconditional. They will never judge you or criticize you as they seek value in raising you up and helping you achieve what you want to most. Obviously not like a mother, but they will be able to see your beauty in the darkest of times and lift you up. When you feel like crap on low days, know that they will be your friend first and support you like no one else because you matter to them.
Between the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, we all need a sounding board at the end of the day. What better sounding board to turn to than your best friend who also happens to be your partner. Best friends build relationships based on commonalities and interests. Everything is a joy to real friends. When you end up marrying your best friend, you get to become a better partner and communicate beyond speech by blending empathy and care with active listening.
Money. Politics. Religion. Even sex. Those can be kind of hard topics to discuss with someone who isn’t exactly a friend. But when you are close to someone and share a true friendship with them, you can discuss such topics as freely and openly with passion and vigor. Nothing is off the table and there is never any judgment because this best friend of yours is home—you are at peace with this person. Of course, sex is an important topic to discuss if you want to pursue the romantic path with your best friend because the last thing you want is sexual incompatibility.
Cheering you on:
From geeking out over comic-books, to pursuing a ridiculous passion project, or those starry dreams of becoming an actor on Broadway, the best part about marrying your best friend is that they will always cheer you on. No matter what! When you truly love someone, you are consistently supportive of their goals and dreams—practical or not. If something makes your partner genuinely happy to pursue, like a career in sports or the arts, as the best friend that you are, you’re able to encourage them to follow through for everything, holding them accountable every step of the way. It’s the grandest gesture for a partner to know that you understand them at the very core of their being and spirit, and want them to flourish in their hopes.