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Alexander has been contributing for THS for over a year! While he attained a major in communications at SFU, he also recieved a minor in Psychology. Despite those accomplishments, Alex has also never had a full cup of coffee (crazy right?!). Alex is a lifelong sports fan and will defend his Seattle Seahawks to the death, especially if faced against a 49er fan. While Alex's long-term goal is to become a marriage counsellor, he also has a strong passion towards writing that he looks forward to exploring.

3 Betrayals That Are as Damaging as Infidelity

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It was reported by an international study that over 60 percent of men and 45 percent of women have engaged in some behaviors of infidelity in the past. When this occurs in a relationship, the feeling of betrayal may be felt.

Which means you could have first-hand experience in knowing that one of the most damaging ways to end a relationship comes when you or the person you love acts unfaithfully. But that isn’t the only way to betray the trust of the person you love.

When one is dishonest about the future that they are working towards, with what their feelings about the relationship are or have actions that paint themselves as an unreliable partner, they are engaging in betrayals that will also ruin their relationship and can cause even more significant ramifications for everyone involved.

Lying about your desires

There is nothing wrong with deciding that how you want to spend your future is with a whole litter of kids running around. There is also nothing wrong with deciding that children are the last thing in the world you want to experience. But where the wrong comes in is when someone decides to be dishonest about what their aspirations are.

The decision on having kids is one that if not agreed upon can lead to resentment in the relationship that can also impact the potential children. Other areas of your life, such as career goals, to be impacted negatively.

Perhaps your partner takes a high-paying job that they are unhappy in because they have hopes to save money for their future. Only to find out down the line that the future they had hoped includes at least 1 less person. Being dishonest with your feelings in this area can leave your partner feeling like they’ve wasted years of their life with you. 

Withdrawing and being dishonest with your feelings

Those who are in an unhealthy relationship can also find themselves withdrawing from it emotionally.

According to Psychology Today, there are several negative elements that can accompany an emotionally withdrawn person, including becoming more critical of their partner, even in ways that someone might not realize.

Through this process also begins a breaking of the promise to give the love and support needed to make a relationship work. Things can become more dangerous as lies may increase, such as when questioned on about their feelings about the relationship.

It is also important to be cautious of white lies. Recent research from Neil Garret at University College London showed that those when an individual starts to engage in white lies that they will develop a pattern that will lead to bigger acts of dishonesty over time.

Not reliable

One of the most damaging qualities to have in a relationship is unreliability. The feeling of betrayal can be felt when a partner promises that they will do something, such as plan a special date, only to forget or not put in an adequate effort.

Expectations on the future that are not met, such as goals in a relationship, can leave a partner feeling misled. A partner who is constantly left disappointed may also be less willing to put in an effort because they know it is not something they can rely on their own partner doing for them. Psychology Today also reported that most adults require to schedule intimacy into their busy weeks. If you have a partner who is unreliable and betrays that, then you may also be finding yourself sexually frustrated.

* * * * *

One of the worst feelings in the world is when someone you love betrays you. Those who are experiencing feelings of betrayal owe to themselves to leave the relationship or to take the steps needed to make a change.

Do not feel like just because your partner hasn’t physically cheated on you, that you don’t have the right to leave a relationship. Especially if you find yourself feeling like your chance at fulfilling the future you want is constantly being tarnished by your partner’s betrayals. If you are betraying your partner in these ways, you also owe it to themselves and yourself, to do the healthy thing and end the relationship.

What do you think is one of the worst ways to betray your partner? Let us know in the comments below.

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5 Comments on “3 Betrayals That Are as Damaging as Infidelity”

  1. richardjalba October 23, 2017 at 12:07 pm #

    Gaslighting is definitely number one on my list. You can only be gaslighted if you completely trust a person. And it can kill you emotionally and damage you mentally.

  2. TheSociologicalMail January 23, 2018 at 10:49 am #

    Great post!

  3. acaligirltalks February 14, 2018 at 10:15 am #

    Great article, but no, I disagree… nothing compares to finding out your SO has cheated on you.

  4. heathenmichelle March 13, 2018 at 11:34 am #

    Well, speaking from personal experience in the past of failed relationships and many betrayals of all types (partly because of my own poor choices and my own lack of being strong enough to not tolerate bad behavior), I have found having found out I’ve been cheated on with “paid workers” (prostitutes) to be most painful. One of the reasons is because society likes to label the wives as a cold, distant, non-sexual being that must have deprived my man, but that is a lie. I bought into that myself- thinking if I had sex with my husband almost every opportunity that arose (for a decade), that it would prevent him from stepping out. It did not.


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